There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
