Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
