Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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