How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
