PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize