I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
