Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
