I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
