I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
