I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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