Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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