She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
