I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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