the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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