addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
