Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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