Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
