Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
