Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
