Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
