I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
