I want to have your abortion
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
