whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
