Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
