okay pat passed out under dana's car
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
