i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Walk of Shame today included voting.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
