I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
