PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
