I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
