I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
