either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
