So drunk, too bad you don't want this
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
