He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
