Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Everything about him screamed your future.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
