Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
