I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
