The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
