I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
