my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
