i think my tv is drunk
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Randomize
