If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
