im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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