I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
