Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
