she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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