so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
