I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
