Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
MIDGETS
????
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
