one might say we're banned from that church
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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