Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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