i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
