hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have fence marks all over my body
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
