She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
