Got a toothbrush?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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