i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
