I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
