every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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